Art Capacities Reflection

After reading and reacting to to the twenty artist capacities I was forced to sit and ponder on how I have used these abilities to my creative benefit or creative deficit.

I feel like there are 8 out of the 20 that I have a good solid understanding and capacity for. I can honestly say that I have some evidence in the remaining 12.

I believe that my capacity to engage in the world around me has always been my part of my physical, mental and emotional make-up.

At a young age, I was allowed to explore in the woods behind our house for hours. My curiosity and fascination with nature and wild life opened me up to that which lay beneath my feet and within the branches. Sitting in the creek carefully turning over rocks to find crawdads and tadpoles, petting turtles that happen to crawl by, collecting rocks with fossils and climbing trees to sit and gain a new perspective. These were my early beginnings of engagement and ever since I feel lucky that I have maintained my childlike sense of wonder and curiosity not only about nature but about the inner and outer workings of life, relationships and creative expression.
Except for the occasional fear of rejection, or fear of failure, I have never been a fearful person when it comes to change, ambiguity or taboo. I like to find new avenues to explore even if they are dark and scary I like to jump into new things to see what I can find and to better understand. Think of me as a party crasher, which is something I have done many times when young. I have traveled and sought out new vistas new communities and unusual traditions. I thrive on begin engaged and yet I have never been married. Interesting. Being engaged with my family, friends, strangers, students, peers, animals, art, philosophy, world cultures, new and old ideas keeps my eyes open while expanding my mind.

However the capacity I feel I need more discipline in and more practice would have to be number 20: Take Action!

As a multi-tasker who gets easily distracted by the white rabbit, (see Alice in Wonderland), I can have several creative, visions that I see clearly and I feel strongly about and may even begin, yet the action required to manifest them into reality is painfully slow or, many times, just abandoned. This can be depressing to have beautiful possibilities, like my unborn babies, waiting to come into the world.
Taking action is not hard to do but it ties into perseverance which for me use to be easier when I had more time on my hands, and when I lived with a partner or within a community that was supportive and helpful.  Being involved in an art studio was somewhat helpful since It forced me to produce for art openings and shows, but since I don’t have that anymore, I know I need to seek out and participate in places like CAL Columbia Arts League or continue to take community classes to help keep me inspired and in the habit of producing and sharing ideas with liked minded people.
As I write this I clearly see how taking action is as easy as committing to do what I know it takes for me to stay engaged. I have also begun to meditate, take more walks and do things that make me feel refreshed and awake. (Figuratively and literally). For me picking and choosing one idea to act on has been a challenge since I have a hard time leaving the other good ideas behind. I need to focus more on allowing myself to choose, commit and then poor my energy into nurturing and developing that one idea into a meaningful, purposeful work.
I haven’t gotten this down yet, but trying very hard each day to work on my top two priorities and give them the time they deserve before moving down my list.
I don’t want to only have good ideas I want to birth and grow good ideas into fully realized entities.

Artist Statement

It always begins with a flash, a vivid vision or conceptual idea poking at me, asking to be heard. Like playful pups or children tugging at my arm sleeve begging me to come and play. My art is born out of necessity to commune with and give breath to my joy, my pain my longings and my childlike wonderment and Awe. My dreams are vivid and many times like mini stage plays or abstract Fellini movies. My longings are insistent and they involve passionate cravings for new discoveries, for the thrill of risk taking, for reciprocity in relationship, for pulling back the vail. For meaningful connection. My composition in art involves orchestrating a menagerie of practical, purposeful techniques and instinctual, flamboyant flights of fancy.

My need for expression has become it's own art form. 

This series is my attempt to synthesize each of these intangible ideas through my personal evolution.

I started journaling at a young age, and have since felt the need to document this life experience, to notice and appreciate, to tell my own story in hopes of learning more about who I am and what my purpose in this existence is. I have continued this process by exploring performance, prose and photography and multimedia, which are all represented in my digital collages.